can you take me back where I came from
she said who put all those things in your head

Curriculum Vitae

DATES Role Responsibilities
1984-1987 Superman Protecting sister. Making traffic lights go green with my powers. Keeping an eye on things.
1987-1988 Spiderman Climbing walls where possible. Protecting secret identity. Making traffic lights go green with my powers.
2001-2004 Pining for an American girl Writing clumsy, teenage angst poetry; developed wistful stare into middle-distance
2004-2006 Pining for a Scottish girl Trying to keep my shit together. Lots of trips to and from Aberdeen.
2007 Briefly in a band Telling people I was in a band
2008-2013 Uncertainty Nurturing inner turmoil
2014 Decided enough was enough Bought new pants
2012-present Pining for an English Girl Realising all things must pass
Feb 2015 Ate duty free toblerone in three days Felt sick on day two but forged ahead regardless. Established anything is possible.

The Superman Years

The Spiderman Years

The Wilderness Years


Nostalgia 90%
Whimsy 90%
Bathos 80%
Anxiety 85%
Doubt 85%
Hypertrophied sense of lost childhood 95%


Death 95%
Sharks 90%
Heights 75%
Spiders 85%
Climate Change 90%
Fear of having done it all wrong 95%